Cold Pizza on Christmas Eve

Gas-station snow
Phone face down

Ben set down Daddy's carving knife
Said, You visit when the tree goes up
I'm here for Mama's Tuesday pills
You send postcards from a tour bus
I threw one cruel answer back
Mama stared into her plate
Grabbed two slices, took my coat
Let the storm door swing behind

One honest sentence stood between
That cold front seat and kitchen heat

Cold pizza on Christmas Eve tonight
Dashboard snow in gas-station light
One honest sentence could carry me
But pride kept saying, Stay where you'll be

Ten-fifty-nine, the clerk flipped chairs
The coffee tasted burned and thin
Families glowed on silent screens
My own kept calling from within
I turned the heater one notch up
Watched salt trucks comb the avenue
Then something fell behind the visor
A paper angel Lily drew

Cold pizza on Christmas Eve tonight
Dashboard snow in gas-station light
One honest sentence could carry me
But pride kept saying, Stay where you'll be

On the back, in upside-down red
Green cookie saved for Auntie
I called
Mama said, We're listening
I was hurt
Please forgive me
Ben unlocked the kitchen door
Didn't hug or call it peace
He moved his coat and warmed a slice
You can sit and talk with me

Cold pizza on Christmas Eve tonight
Dashboard snow in gas-station light
I was hurt
Please forgive me
Mama said, Come home; sit beside me

No speeches
No perfect peace
Five plates and a warmed-up slice
Ben passed salt
Mama said grace
Christmas started at eleven-forty-three