Already Here

Before I found the door,
Before I raised my eyes —
You were already here.
You were already here.

I came in through the side door,
Coat still on, in case I'd leave,
Back row beside the exit,
Eyes down on the folding seat.
I didn't come to sing,
I came to disappear,
But the room was somehow fuller
Than the people standing here.
I kept one hand on the handle,
Kept the clock inside my sight,
But a hush moved through the corners
Like a slow and rising light.

And before I made a sound (before),
Before I dared believe,
Something older than my fear
Had already come for me.

You were already here (already here),
Before I reached the door,
Already filling up the room
While I stared down at the floor.

I thought I slipped in unseen (unseen),
But the room had known my name.
Already here — You already came.

The strangers in the front row
Had their hands lifted high,
And I judged them from the shadows
With my arms crossed, wondering why.
But the same warmth in the rafters
That was resting over them
Came and found the back row,
Found the coat, and found the man.
I planned to leave by the second song,
Had my exit all rehearsed,
But the door I kept my hand on
Wasn't where I hurt the worst.

Before I prayed (before),
Before I believed (before),
Before I let a stranger see (before),
Before I dropped my guard (before) —
You were filling up the room,
You were already here.

So I let the coat fall open,
Let the tears do what they do —
Nobody's running for the parking lot,
Nobody wants to leave the room.
I came to sit and slip away,
But You had crossed the floor,
Already here before I feared,
And reached me at the door.

You were already here (already here),
Before I reached the door,
Already here before I feared —
You had come before.

Coat on the empty chair,
The door I never used.
You were already here —
Here before I ever moved.