I Left the Light On

I say the bulb is cheap to leave on
Same chipped mug beside the chair
Generator coughs next door at midnight
Rain beads cold along the rail
Your message waits beneath the weather
Unread, blue, facedown by the door
I tell my friends it’s just a habit
Then I check the stairs once more

Every night I make that excuse
Every night it shines through

I left the light on, I left the light on
Balcony gold where the rain comes down
I say it’s nothing, but I know what it means
I left the light on, and you’re not here

Thursday, you crossed beneath my window
Black umbrella, quiet shoes
You stopped beside the broken gatepost
Looked up once, then kept on through
I held the mug against my chest hard
Let your footsteps fade away
Could have called you from the railing
But I let the message stay

I left the light on, I left the light on
Balcony gold where the rain comes down
I say it’s nothing, but I know what it means
I left the light on, and you’re not here

It was never for you to find me
Never meant to pull you near
That small bulb was my confession
I was still living like you’d appear
I called it habit to survive it
Now I can say the honest part
I kept that chipped cup by the railing
Like a door inside my heart

I left the light on, but I’m turning it off
Rain on the rail, let the whole room go dark
No more pretending this is just what I do
I left the light on, now I’m choosing me

Generator fades, the rain runs thin
One last look, then I go in