Big Boy Pants

Put on your big boy pants

You got a gaming chair that cost more than my car
You got a hundred sneakers but you don't know where they are
You call me "mommy" when you want a snack
Honey, that's a problem, take it back
You ask me where the plates go every single night
You ask me how the washer works, I'm like, "all right"
It's cute for like a minute, then it isn't anymore
Now I'm picking up your socks off the floor

You're twenty-nine
You're not nineteen
You still eat cereal
For every meal I've seen

Put on your big boy pants
Call your mama back
Make your own dentist appointment
Put on your big boy pants

Big boy (big boy)
Pants on
Big boy

I don't need a father, I don't need a son
I don't need a project, I just wanted fun
I don't need a man who's got it all figured out
But I need one who knows what the trash is about
I'll give you one more week to be a grown-up guy
Pay a bill, fold a shirt, just try
If you can't, then baby, no hard feelings
I'll be out with a man who's got ceilings

You're twenty-nine
You're not nineteen
You still eat cereal
For every meal I've seen

Put on your big boy pants
Call your mama back
Make your own dentist appointment
Put on your big boy pants

Step one, feet in the leg holes
Step two, pull 'em up
Step three, button
Step four, look at you
Big boy
So proud

Put on your big boy pants
Call your mama back
Make your own dentist appointment
Put on your big boy pants

Big boy (big boy)
Pants on
Big boy