Tips for the New Guy

Here's a few tips for the new guy

Don't take her to the lake in June, the gnats'll ruin it
Don't let her drive your truck unless you want it fixed
She sings the wrong words to every Eagles song
Just let her, brother, she'll be happy all day long
She'll say she isn't hungry, then she'll eat your fries
Order extra, trust me, you'll be glad you tried

I ain't trying to start nothing
I ain't trying to win her back
Just a man who learned the hard way
Handing down the map

Here's a few tips for the new guy
She takes her coffee with too much cream
She cries at dog commercials
Here's a few tips for the new guy

New guy, new guy
Learn it quick
New guy

She hates the word "calm down," so don't you ever say it
She loves her daddy's records, so you better play it
She'll leave the light on in the hallway when you're late
And she'll pretend she's sleeping so she doesn't have to wait
I never learned the little things until it was too late
So here, man, take my place

I ain't trying to start nothing
I ain't trying to win her back
Just a man who learned the hard way
Handing down the map

Here's a few tips for the new guy
She takes her coffee with too much cream
She cries at dog commercials
Here's a few tips for the new guy

And if she ever asks about me
Tell her I'm doing fine
Tell her I learned a lot of things
A little behind
Tell her I'm doing fine
That's a lie, but tell her

Here's a few tips for the new guy
She takes her coffee with too much cream
She cries at dog commercials
Here's a few tips for the new guy

New guy, new guy
Learn it quick
New guy