Never Sent

Blue winter, three pages
An envelope under winter socks
(Never sent)

The letter's been finished since winter
Three pages, every margin blue
I wrote your name until it softened
Crossed out what blamed the hurt on you
I keep it with the folded sweaters
I stamp inside a library book
The clerk had asked anything else
I hated how my whole hand shook

Confession is not always a bridge
Sometimes it asks the hurt to live twice

(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
I wrote them true
I wrote them late
Sorry is not a key to your peace
So I let the letter change me
Sorry is not a key
Not a key
(Never sent)

I saw your sister at the market
By the peaches and the bread
Apples knocked inside her canvas bag
She never spoke your name
I walked home with the onions
I walked home with the onions
Swinging cold against my wrist
Then crossed out each request for grace
And every plea that took up space

(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
(Never sent)
(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
I wrote them true
I wrote them true
I wrote them late
Sorry is not a key to your peace
So I let the letter change me

I used to think forgive me
Meant I'd finished with the past
Now I show up when I promise
And let hard silence last
My phone stays by the kettle
When hard words enter the room
I won't turn your scar
Into my second chance
With you

(Never sent)
The words stayed with me
Stayed with me
I wrote them true
I wrote them true
I wrote them late
Wrote them late
Sorry is not a key to your peace
So I let the letter change me

The kettle humps, the drawer shuts slow
The kettle humps, the drawer shuts slow
(Never sent)
But the truth has somewhere to go
But the truth has somewhere to go