Every No a Drum

Forty one rejection letters
Stacked beside a cup of cheap coffee
Every no a drum
One more knock
One more sound

Laptop blinking midnight
Like it still wants something from me
Mama on the couch
Her shoes still on from the night shift

Double on the weekend
So my dream could keep the lights lit
I almost closed the screen
Maybe dreams don't fit

In a kitchen with a bill drawer
That never ever seems to quit
Then one unread message
No subject and no name

I stared at it a minute
Like a match before a flame
Every no is on the wall now
Taped up in a row

I could paper every window
Or I could go

How many no's
Can one heart hold
How many walls
Can it face

I put my knuckles
On the table
And knocked one more time
Anyway

Every no a drum
Every wall a sound
One more knock
After all the no's
After all the doubt

I was never lost
I was being found
Every no a drum
And the yes came loud

One more knock!
One more knock
One more sound!
One more sound
I was never lost
I was being found

Basement room was leaking
Three people looking bored
One was on his phone
Before I even sang a word

I sang it anyway
Not because I knew
But if I quit right there
Every closed door would come true

Halfway through the second verse
Someone in the back looked up
Just one face in a tired room
But sometimes one's enough

He slid his phone in his pocket
Leaned his elbows on his knees
And the leaky basement ceiling
Felt like opening night marquees

All those no's became a rhythm
All those doors became a drum
I was not done knocking
I was not done becoming

Every no a drum
Every wall a sound
One more knock
After all the no's
After all the doubt

I was never lost
I was being found
Every no a drum
And the yes came loud

No from the office
Boom
No from the stage
Boom
No from the mailbox
Boom
No from the page
Boom

No after no
After no after no
But each one taught my knuckles
How to answer the wall

And the last one had an echo
And the echo knew my whole name
And it turned me back around

Knock!
Knock!
One more time
Knock!
Knock!
One more time

If they papered walls
With your rejections
Build a room
Then build the sign

Every no a drum
Every wall a sound
One more knock
After all the no's
After all the doubt

I was never lost
I was being found
Every no a drum
The yes came loud
Found

One more knock!
One more knock
One more sound!
One more sound
Every no a drum
The yes came loud

Signed the contract Tuesday morning
Same cheap coffee cup
Same kitchen table scar
Where I would not give up

I kept the stack of no's
In a shoebox by the door
Every no a drum
For the one yes worth knocking for