Knuckles and Knees

Cold tile underneath my knees
One hand up on the sink
Knuckles and knees
I'm still moving

Trying hard to remember
How to breathe and how to think
Every comeback anthem on my playlist
Said stand up tall and fight

But tonight brave looked smaller
Down here on the bathroom floor
I crawled over to the door
You couldn't call it grace

But I moved one inch forward
With the tears still drying on my face
Nobody ever writes an anthem
For the hallway and the wall

But the hallway's where I proved
I wasn't done at all
The mirror caught me crawling
And I stared it down the same

You can photograph the bottom
It still won't learn my name

Knuckles and knees
Still moving
The floor can't keep choosing me
Still got breath in me
Still moving
If forward is an inch
That inch is victory

Still moving
Still moving
Still moving
Knuckles and knees
Still moving

Washed my face at noon
Answered one text message back
Stepped outside the front door
Then turned around and sat

My best friend found me
Sitting on the curb
Didn't preach
Didn't say be strong

Just sat down on the concrete
Till the shaking moved along
Ate something warm at the counter
Let the whole day be small

Sometimes not disappearing
Is the bravest thing of all
Tuesday I made coffee
Wednesday made the bed

Thursday walked around the block
With the noise still in my head
Friday I held the phone a minute
Thumb above an old goodbye

Put it down
Poured the coffee
Let the urge to vanish die

Knuckles and knees
Still moving
The floor can't keep choosing me
Still got breath in me
Still moving
If forward is an inch
That inch is victory

I don't need a perfect rise
And I don't need a movie scene
I don't need the montage morning
Where the broken man comes clean

Nobody threw a parade
For the curb the sink the floor
But I know what those inches cost
And I'm not keeping score

The hallway kept my secret
The sunrise took its time
The cold tile still knows my knuckles
The curb still knows my name

And every quiet ordinary day
Is a medal just the same

If an inch is all you got
Claim it
If a crawl is all you know
Claim it
If today was only breathing
Claim it

Even breathing counts as motion
When the floor wants you to stay
There is courage in a body
That refuses not to go

Knuckles and knees
Still moving
The floor can't keep choosing me
Still got breath in me
Still moving
If forward is an inch
That inch is victory

Still moving
Still moving
Still moving
Still moving
Knuckles and knees
Still moving

I did not win the morning
But the morning did not win me either
That quiet stubborn inch
Was the day I chose to begin

Knuckles and knees
Still here
Still breathing
Still moving