Steel in My Step

Doctor said take it slow
Slow sounded like finished
Steel in my step
I am not finished yet

Rubber band around my knees
An old boot beside the chair
Everybody talking soft
Like I might disappear

Locker tag still holds my name
Dust still on the lace
I hate these little steps
But I take them anyway

Friends keep saying give it time
Time can sound like never
When you're counting every inch
Back to yourself

Three stairs every morning
No hand upon the rail
I made it to the landing
Then I cried behind the wheel

Kids out on the driveway
Trying not to watch me climb
Someday they will know
These stairs were mountains at the time

Not because I'm broken
Not because I'm done
Because one little victory
Can weigh a thousand tons

Then my daughter drew me standing tall
Lightning running down my back
Taped it to the kitchen wall
Like a promise I could have

I got steel in my step
Steel
Fire in the chest
Fire

Count me out
Leave my boots at the door
I stood back up
I'm not finished yet

I still get up
Get up
I still get up
Get up

Steel in my step
I am not finished yet

Monday in the parking lot
I left the cane in the car
Walked in on my own two feet
Past every stare

The therapist just nodded
Didn't clap and didn't fuss
Wrote one word on her clipboard
I swear it said tough

I'm not the before photo
Taped up on the wall
I am the shaky second try
That would not let me fall

If the old me had to leave
Let him leave with all that pain
The new me learned to stand
A different way

She drew the lightning yellow
Drew the shoulders wide
Drew a man a little taller
Than the man who wants to hide

Every small step up those stairs
Is thunder on that page

I got steel in my step
Steel
Fire in the chest
Fire

Count me out
Leave my boots at the door
I stood back up
I'm not finished yet

Say it for the shaky steps
Say it for the second try
One more

Say it for the quiet ones
Who stood when no one saw them rise

There's a dent in the doorframe
Where I fell that first bad night
A groove worn in the handrail
From my grip learning to fight

I keep them like a diary
Every mark a day I stayed
The house remembers all of it
And the house is not afraid

Steel
Steel
Step
Step

I still get up
Get up

I got steel in my step
Steel
Fire in the chest
Fire

Count me out
Leave my boots at the door
I stood back up
Not finished yet
Not yet

I still get up
Get up
I still get up
Get up

Steel in the spine
I still get up
Still get up

Old boot by the chair
New light in my eyes
Laces finally tied
Steel in my step

Still not finished