You Called It Brave

You called it brave
I was only trying
Not to fall apart

I folded up a breastplate
Out of old receipts and pride
Drew a coat of mail in Sharpie
Kept the softer parts inside

I promised I would never let
A single person in
Built a paper shield
To hold the softer things within

I marched into the world
Convinced I couldn't die
I survived the sorrow
I survived the knife

But I was wearing paper
Most of my life
Every scar I ever inked
Was a door I painted shut

A soldier drawn in permanent
A heart drawn up

Then you came with water
You didn't come with fire
No weapon in your hands
Just a quiet desire

You held me in the rain
And the lines began to run

You called it brave
When ink ran down
Brave
Paper armor washing off
In the rain

You saw me shaking
And stayed somehow
You called it brave
So I stopped being ashamed

You called it brave
Called it brave
Ink running down
Running down

I surrender
I surrender
I am not ashamed
Not ashamed

It's terrifying standing here exposed
No sword inside my hand
No door I can close
I'm walking barefoot
On the broken sand

But I can feel
The real breeze touch my hand
I can feel
The honest beating of my heart

I had to let
The paper walls fall apart
I thought that being strong
Meant never showing pain

Then I found my strength
Just standing in the rain

You came with water
You didn't come with fire
No weapon in your hands
Just a quiet desire

You held me in the rain
And the lines began to run

You called it brave
When ink ran down
Brave
Paper armor washing off
In the rain

You saw me shaking
And stayed somehow
You called it brave
So I stopped being ashamed

I thought I had to disappear
To survive
Thought I had to draw
A harder man to stay alive

But you watched the colors bleeding
And you didn't look away
You held out your hand
And I stepped out of the frame

That was the first time
The very first time
I did not feel ashamed
Not ashamed

Every color I was hiding
Is a river running free
What the water could not wash away
Was me

I was ink under the thunder
Drawing up my last defense
The lines were never gonna dry

You did not tear me open
No
You did not strike the wall
You only stood there softly

And watched the armor fall
Watched it fall

You called it brave
When ink ran down
Brave
Paper armor washing off
In the rain

You saw me shaking
And stayed somehow
You called it brave
So I stopped being ashamed

The ink is running
Washing away
Paper armor
Washing away

I surrender
I surrender
I am not ashamed

I surrender
I surrender
Rain can have the armor
Thunder can have the page

You called it brave
I kept what would not wash away